god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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