she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
