What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
