My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize