All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
