You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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