Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
