ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
