And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
