Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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