Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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