ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
