The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I bet he comes in French.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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