I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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