What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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