How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
