coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
MIDGETS
????
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
