I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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