Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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