Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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