Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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