I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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