this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
