i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
