Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
