DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
