I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize