I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
