I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
