Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize