your room smells of hookers.
And success
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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