i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
