Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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