You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
