Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize