First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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