can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You ate ashes out of my bong
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
