So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
ttyl tear gas
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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