I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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