Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
