just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize