We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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