Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize