I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
