I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
