You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
