I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
