The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
