Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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