I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
