if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
