There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
