OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
