is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
