Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
