You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
only you would photoshop your dick
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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